Year In Review

A rather forthright friend just spent a chunk of time reading through all of my 2008 blog posts. He suggested I change the name or at least add a subtitle because it is “neither about music nor about your life!” Hmph. That had me glancing through this year’s prose, being reminded of what a full scene this act of the musical was.

When 2008 began, I was nursing my baby-child and completely and utterly sleep-deprived. It was not a pretty picture. By early spring the sleep deprivation began to manifest itself in (greater) forgetfulness and disorganization; I’m afraid this hasn’t gotten any better. Wallet - lost, replaced, currently lost. Keys - lost, found, currently lost. Wedding Ring - lost, replaced, found original, both currently lost. Depressing, I tell you.

Late spring brought two events that are highlights in my year. First, a trip to New York for the Women in Ministry conference and some fabulous sight-seeing. Second, a trip to the Pepperdine lectures with my mom. I love, love traveling and these fun exertions gave me a much needed boost.

Summer brought activity and energy and excitement! All of my family together for the first time in years...PUMP Summer Program with its amazing kids, loving youth groups, and fantastic interns...a car accident...a beach trip with my three dear childhood friends...the Olympics!...FaithQuest...The Luis Palau Festival at Portland’s waterfront...a beach get-away with the family...good times.

Early fall seemed to be all about politics and back to school and picture taking (our favorite photo time of the year). I also had the great opportunity to take a month sabbatical, where I spent time reflecting, rejuvenating, and talking with my family and my God. But late fall had very difficult parts to it...Cascade College announcing its impending closure...three little girls I know having terrible, frightening diseases...a baby having surgery on his skull...financial troubles for friends...unexpected death. It has been a season of prayer and reflection.

A monumental personal event of the year, though, happens today for me - this last day of 2008. As of midnight, I will no longer be employed by the PUMP Church of Christ, but will now minister again as a volunteer. This is the church that the Lord led us to plant with six amazing people at the beginning of this decade. I’ve been on staff for seven-and-a-half years, wearing more hats than I could describe.
I absolutely love this ministry. I love my friends in this church family and those in the community who do not yet know about the hope found in Christ. I love the amazing work that PUMP has done for so many hundreds of children, adults, and families, and I love the dream of who PUMP can still be under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

What’s to come in 2009? I can’t imagine. But, with my family, friends, and Lord with me, I am content in heart as I watch the clock strike midnight to see what happens next.

Walking With Others Through Storms

There have been joys this week in my 2nd grader's grand performance as an evil stepsister in their class version of Cinderella, dressing up with the kids for Halloween, and using our fireplace for the first time this fall. This is a period, though, marked with great loss and sadness. Heartache has come in many forms for my friends and family this week:

Family having to unexpectedly move from their home.

A friend leaving her ministry & dream because of the sin of another.

The baby of friends having to endure medical procedures in anticipation of an upcoming traumatic surgery.

An entire region losing an institution that serves as a cornerstone; friends losing their home, college & stability; friends anticipating being unemployed.

A sweet, adorable little friend beginning the fight with a terrible disease.

A friend losing her sister in an unexpected death.

It is often hard to know how to minister to people who are experiencing grief and loss, especially when their hurt cuts deeply into your own heart. With good intentions, people often say hurtful things. Or out of fear of saying something wrong, some say nothing at all. Here are some ideas for ministry to those whose who are hurting.

DO:

• acknowledge the pain or loss with a card, call, or letter (which can be re-read during hard times).
• make specific offers for assistance (e.g. picking up groceries while you're at the store, helping write a resume, or taking the kids for an evening).
• be supportive of the difficult decisions they are making.
• pray. Telling someone that you are praying for them is another way of saying you care.
• tell them that they are doing a good job managing their situation.
• feel free to cry with the person.
• simply say "I am so sorry."
• allow them to talk about their situation at their own pace. Be a good listener.
• simply sit with the person or offer some other action of support like a hug or squeeze of the arm. Words are not always necessary.
• remember painful holidays.
• remember that the pain will likely be long-lasting and nothing you say will make the pain go away.

DON'T:

• avoid the person because you don't know what to say.
• say "I know how you feel". This time is about the other person, not about you.
• tell depressing stories, even if they relate to the loss.
• say "It's God's will" or "It's a good thing" or "You can [have another child, go on to another ministry, go to a different college]".
  
• say "Don't cry" or "Be brave" or "You are so strong", which may cause the person to repress their feelings. They likely do not feel strong or brave.
  
• blame or say things that might be construed as blame.
• use platitudes or cliches, such as "Time heals all wounds" or "Everything will be o.k." It most definitely does not feel like things will be o.k. They need to be given the permission and space to grieve.
  

Let's all take a deep breath, praise the Lord for today, and walk hand in hand through these difficult times.

[some of these ideas come from Delores Kuenning's "Helping People Through Grief"]

Fall Family

See More Photos HERE

Beach Get-Away

Given our summer of PSP, family visits, the Festival, & FaithQuest, we did absolutely no vacationing as a family this summer. I had a Saturday meeting cancel this last week, opening up our entire weekend. The kids and I did some sneaky planning; then on Friday I packed for five and we kidnapped Allan from work (with his boss's okay). What a great weekend we had! I absolutely love Cannon Beach - the most beautiful and relaxing of the Oregon Coast, in my opinion. We had a cute little hotel, just a close walk to the sand & waves. Best of all was the non-scheduled time with the four people I love and adore most.

Committment Embodied

I'm not a big fan of forwarded emails. You the ones I'm talking about, right? Readers Digest-worthy jokes. Why Global Warming is a Conspiracy! Nauseating mom infomercials. So, here's the warning - this is one of those.

Allan and I try to catch the Ironman on t.v. each year (I'm waiting to see Jason Hill there). No other show does a better job at compelling its viewers to lose pounds of water through tears shed. Their bios are epic - we were drawn to the story about this father and son the year they participated.

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes' .

For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

Watch this (cue sappy song):

Prayer Cloud

Allan introduced us to Wordle, a site that allows one to create beautiful word clouds. It is cool how random words can be used to make an artistic and interesting creation. These were some of the topics that I took to God in prayer this week.

I Choose

I internally cringe when people complain about how busy they are, and I give myself no exception to the rule. Because, in my book, people are busy because they choose to be busy.

I am SO busy right now. You would be appalled if you saw the living room in which I sit at this moment. A tornado could not dispense a greater disaster within these walls. I chose not to go to lunch with friends after church and instead am choosing to take a few minutes to jot a note before I take nap in order to be better functioning for two long meetings this afternoon (one is a "choice language" training!).But I do not complain about my schedule, because I love this season.

I choose this...

and this...



and this...


and as much of this as I can get...

Miscellaneous

Hey! Thanks to everyone who helped write our little story this weekend. It took on a deep, mysterious mood right from the get-go. Hmmm...I wonder what it was that she was holding??

News Updates:

* PSP starts oh-so-very soon! Our summer Coordinators, Josh & Katina, are here from New Mexico and are being put to work. Our six interns will be arriving from New Mexico, Texas, California, and the Great Northwest to begin their summer fun this weekend. We are in high gear and I'm hopeful that this conductor doesn't fall off the train. If you are in the Portland area and want to serve as a reading volunteer, contact us here.

* My Uganda family is making their way to their Oregon home and should here Friday. Welcome home, Jeff & Cheryl, Kinley, Alex, Isaac, & Silas!

* A ton of people I know right now are on health kicks. I feel super-inspired to set some goals, but I'm fearful. I hate disappointing myself.

* I'm not going to tell all of you that I have now lost my wallet. That would be too humiliating. Seriously. Is this a permanent state or do I ever have hope of being the organized and logical person I once was?

* Nothing makes the whole family laugh more thanthis site.

Tuesday Randomness

No, I have not found my beloved iPhone yet. Or my wedding ring. But I did find my keys! Yay! I feel a little guilt that I am more emotional over my phone than my ring (which I do truly love). I am moving nicely through the stages of grief - I rested in denial for a while and still visit there often. I hit anger a few days ago. Where is that stupid phone?? I don't know if I am bargaining exactly, but I have resorted to begging God to show me where it is. Please? Please? Just show me today. Please?So I guess depression and acceptance are soon to follow.
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I just read that Condolezza Rice left the door open regarding running as VP with McCain. That doesn't make him as attractive as Barrack, but it surely would help his case, in my book. Go Condi!
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There was baby in India born with two faces! Have you ever heard of such a thing? I know it's tacky to be a rubber-necker, but you have to see the pictures. Bless her sweet heart!
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My newest addiction? Geni.
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Thanks for the prayers for my dad. He ended up having his gall bladder out due to "sludge" (which makes my mom smirk every time she says it) and pancreatitis. He's recovering well and is home from the hospital now.
_____

Happy Tuesday!

Road Trip

I have spent the morning plotting a potential road trip out on Google Maps for my sabbatical this year. It's been fun to think of the friends, family, and sites we could visit along the way. Now if we can find a spot on the calendar in which to fit the trip, we'll be on our way!

Family Portrait

My mom has been on our case for a long while about getting a family portrait taken. The one on her wall is from a time when Connor was still in diapers and we had a different third child. It was reinforced recently when Connor was asked to bring a picture of our family to school for a project, yet we could only find one that contained all five of us (minutes after Fiona was born). So, this family of photographers decided it was time to gather on the other side of the lens. Let's call this the before shot:


And this is our angelic group moments later:

Question #5

Who do you love?

When you think about them you smile. Love them. And be loved.

That's a pretty big question, given that our English language has so many varied meanings for love, but I'll give it a go...I love my husband - the man whom holds me back from the brink of insanity (and who painted ceramics with me on our date night tonight!). I love my children - and my almost child and any children the Lord might put in our future. I love my parents, brothers & their families, all those Cash people, and anyone else who is or would like to be related to us (because, you know, everyone should want to be related to us). I love PUMP and all the children and adults who have walked through the doors of our little dream. I love the people of Uganda whom I briefly have known. I love all the people of Scotland - whom I consider my extended family. I love the Trailblazers. I love the people of the Northwest - with our relaxed attitudes, pioneer spirit, environmental passion, and great sense of style (okay, three out of four isn't bad). I love my friends - those from my childhood who loved me through the bad haIr years, fits of jealousy, cheerleading tryouts, boy obsessions, and body image issues, and those from more recently who have loved me through pregnancies, motherhood traumas, identity crises, spiritual battles, and body image issues (still??).

There's a whole lotta love going on.

Question #4

How do you want to be remembered?

Your epitaph is already half written. Decide how it ends.

My Nona Cash was a force with which to be reckoned. She was the true matriarch of the Cash Clan. Nona died when I was thirteen, so my impression of who she was is from a child's perspective. I remember her hugs and sitting in her lap and watching her cook. But her greatest legacy - the one that sticks with me the most? Nona as evangelist. The Lord used her to bring my Grandad to Christ - a man who led his church for many years as an influential elder. Nona & Grandad had three sons, two of whom serve as elders in their own churches today. There were eleven cousins produced, almost all faithful Christians. I think there is something like 37 kids in the next generation being taught to love the Lord and live a life in service to Him. That's Nona's legacy. That's a legacy worth pursuing.

Family Joy

Fourteen years ago I fell head over heels in love with the most precious being I had ever encountered - my first nephew, Mackenzie. After FaithQuest this month, Mack awakened his parents at midnight, seeking to be baptized by his dad in their backyard swimming pool. Mack is a very analytical guy, so I know this decision has not come easy for him. I am praying that in the years ahead Mack will hear the Lord's words and will feel the promptings and guidance of the Holy Spirit, which lives within him.


A number of years ago, at a time when Cheryl was infected with malaria, we all were concerned as we always are when Jeff or Cheryl get sick in Africa. But this time was different. Cheryl was pregnant with her first child. The statistics of a pregnancy succeeding through active malaria were not encouraging. So we fervently prayed and prayed and prayed. And thanks be to God, our little fighter, Kinley, made it through with no issues. Throughout her young life Kinley has been a child filled with the zeal and knowledge of Christ. I see in Kinley the fire of passion that runs through her parents' veins. We received word that, despite heckling onlookers, Kinley was baptized by her dad this week in the stream that meanders through Ft. Portal. I pray that Kinley will be force for the Kingdom throughout her life, using her gifts for His glory alone.

Happy Valentine's Day

I happen to be spending this Valentine's Day with my three littler loves while my first love is out for the evening. Signs of our old love (old in the good sense - like aged wine) that I am noticing on this particular evening when he's not here? I had to hang up my robe that always ends up tossed on the bed; I didn't realize that had become part of his daily routine. No one is telling me that I shouldn't be watching Criminal Minds before bed (although it bothers him much more than it does me). There are no willing hands here to rub my feet. I have to clean out the kitty litter - blek! One day to remember to say "I love you" is fine, but it the little daily gifts that mean everything.

Another Tuesday

Just another Tuesday morning. After we all got to stay home together for MLK Day on Monday, it's back to the routine, back to the grindstone. That is - until the blinds were opened to reveal a beautiful winter wonderland! There is nothing better than that first glance at your snow covered neighborhood, especially when it is a great surprise; then it's all eyes on the t.v. to see the beloved words SCHOOL CLOSED! So instead of commutes, ABCs, packing lunches, and "Hurry up - we're late!", we had snow angels, cross-country skiing (you know Allan and his sick need to exercise), hot chili, and another good family day. We already know that school is closed tomorrow because of expected ice. Another good day in the forecast.