Hello, my name is blog.

A new friend of mine was talking to an old friend of mine about me recently. My old friend was liberal with his generosity as he described his perception of who I am and the friendship we shared (he has selective memory issues). The most interesting point he made, though? He stated that he has gotten to know me best through...you ready for this?...my blog. This weekend when my father-in-law was discussing our blogs with Allan and I, he pointed out how he is often surprised at the level of personal revelation I make. And, just this evening, another friend revealed that his wife is "lurker" of this site, enjoying the opportunity to get to know more about my life.

I find those comments interesting. Is it okay that someone feels like the best way to know me is through their computer? There are many discussions online about this topic. I'm curious what you think. Can you get to know someone through a blog or do you have to have face to face interactions for it to be an authentic relationship? Do you find it easier or more difficult to express yourself in this format? What about it is so appealing to some - the perceived anonymity? the opportunity for a stage without interruption? the ability to make a false front?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Hi, My Name Is __________

First impressions are a funny thing. Not always ha ha funny, but sometimes a huh, that's strange funny. Recently I was with a group who, for some sadistic reason, decided to share with each other our first impressions of each person present. This might have been a better exercise had we all been inebriated. We were camping, so I can only imagine it was the mix of campfire smoke and pine scented air that caused us to partake in such a game.

I communicate well, I'm intimidating, I'm stylish, I'm unorganized and irresponsible, and I married a cool guy - those were the first impressions that I had given. I had to ask myself the same question I ask my kids whenever someone says something to them that stings. Well, is it true? Are you really stupid/ugly/boring (or in this situation) unorganized/irresponsible/stylish? Heavens, no! Those three words in particular are not ones that I have ever heard uttered in a sentence along with my name. It was only after this internal dialogue that I was able to see first impressions for what they are (and even laugh a little).

First impressions are a fickle little puppy. They wield a great deal of power - substantially more than they should. I wonder how many great relationships I have missed out on because I turned away before I got to know someone. How often have I mislabeled someone as aloof when she is simply shy, or a grump when I didn't know of the especially bad morning that he had when we first met, or so stinkin' talented that we'd have nothing in common.

So that's it. I think I'm going to make an effort to see first impressions for what they are. And, unless it involves marshmallows, I think I'll stay away from campfire games for a little while, too.

Reason for Women

I came across this section of writing from Augustine, one of the great influences in church history.

If it was not the case that woman was created to be man's helper specifically for the production of children, then why would she have been created as a "helper"? Was it so that she might work the land with him? No because there did not exist any such labor for which he needed a helper, and even if such work had been required, a male would have been a better assistant. One can also posit that the reason for her creation as a helper had to do with the companionship she could provide for the man, if perhaps he got bored with solitude. Yet for company and conversation, how much more agreeable it is for two male friends to dwell together than for a man and a woman!...I can not think of any reason for woman's being made as man's helper, if we dismiss the reason of procreation.

Poor guy. He had such potential.

Who's In Your Five?

I read this interesting quote today:

You are the average of the five or so people you associate with most.

Thankfully I hang out with some pretty nice people, who hopefully have been influencing me through the years. On the other hand, three of my five indicate that I will be spending a portion of each day in tantrum mode! This quote really sparked for me, though, the most important question one can ask - Is Jesus one of my five?If Jesus is even just one-fifth of who I am, I will look at the world with love and hope, not shaking my head in doubt and disgust. If Jesus is part of me, I will boldly speak Truth. I will have kindness in my words, acceptance in my eyes, arms that hug and give and bless. If Jesus is in me, I will crave spending time in the Word and with our Father. I will naturally be drawn to better myself through the spiritual disciplines. If Jesus is one of my five I will be humble with my gifts, be generous with blessings, be thankful for my adversities, and be faithful in everything. If Jesus is part of who I am, the world around me will be a better place. Then anyone who is around me will, in turn, be touched by Him - making their part of the world more like Him as well.

Is Jesus one of my five?

And Question 3/4

So...what next?

New possibilities have opened up. Make the change.

So what next, huh? Today's next is to wash my face, brush my teeth, and crawl into bed. Tommorrow's next is to spend some time with a few of those talked about in yesterday's post. But that's probably not quite what this question is after.

I think if I came away from this exercise with any specific ideas, it is that I want to be more deliberate. You know that freaky moment when you pull in the driveway but you can't remember the details of driving there? Your autopilot had apparently been on and got you from one place to another safely. It is so easy to go through the motions of the Sunday morning assembly without engaging one's spirit with the Spirit. At the end of the day you realize that you didn't spend time in play with your children. Weeks (or months) go by between dates with one's spouse. Just letting life happen; forgetting what it's all about. I don't want it to be like that. I want to be deliberate. I want to focus on the many areas of life that are going well and to work to improve myself in those areas that are holding me back. I want to engage with the Spirit and play with my kids and go on dates with my husband.

For now, I am going to deliberately crawl into bed.

Question #2

What are you trying to ignore?

Anxiety is a tap on your shoulder saying, "Something important is happening here!" Pay attention.

I'm afraid that I am ignoring a few important health considerations. With a family of diabetics, including a sibling, I have a huge bullseye target sitting right there on my pancreas. Can't you see it? None of us are overweight, so it is easy to think we are healthy. I'm not sure what greater motivator I could have for daily exercising, but somehow diabetes is not enough of a threat for me.

There's a few relationships that could use some healing in my life. I'm not sure how to make that happen, so I ignore the splinter. Not so wise an approach.

Everyone has dreams that creep into consciousness at times and whispers, "Why aren't you coming after me?" I wonder sometimes if I am ignoring some Spirit-led direction in my life - because to answer the whisper would be scary or hard or confusing.

I'm trying to ignore all the TO-DOs that I see around me each day - the cluttered basement, the roses that need trimming, the cookies that should be baked...

*shiver* I'm feeling somewhat vulnerable at the moment, so I think I'll go do something else and ignore these feelings.