Hi, My Name Is __________

First impressions are a funny thing. Not always ha ha funny, but sometimes a huh, that's strange funny. Recently I was with a group who, for some sadistic reason, decided to share with each other our first impressions of each person present. This might have been a better exercise had we all been inebriated. We were camping, so I can only imagine it was the mix of campfire smoke and pine scented air that caused us to partake in such a game.

I communicate well, I'm intimidating, I'm stylish, I'm unorganized and irresponsible, and I married a cool guy - those were the first impressions that I had given. I had to ask myself the same question I ask my kids whenever someone says something to them that stings. Well, is it true? Are you really stupid/ugly/boring (or in this situation) unorganized/irresponsible/stylish? Heavens, no! Those three words in particular are not ones that I have ever heard uttered in a sentence along with my name. It was only after this internal dialogue that I was able to see first impressions for what they are (and even laugh a little).

First impressions are a fickle little puppy. They wield a great deal of power - substantially more than they should. I wonder how many great relationships I have missed out on because I turned away before I got to know someone. How often have I mislabeled someone as aloof when she is simply shy, or a grump when I didn't know of the especially bad morning that he had when we first met, or so stinkin' talented that we'd have nothing in common.

So that's it. I think I'm going to make an effort to see first impressions for what they are. And, unless it involves marshmallows, I think I'll stay away from campfire games for a little while, too.

Question #2

What are you trying to ignore?

Anxiety is a tap on your shoulder saying, "Something important is happening here!" Pay attention.

I'm afraid that I am ignoring a few important health considerations. With a family of diabetics, including a sibling, I have a huge bullseye target sitting right there on my pancreas. Can't you see it? None of us are overweight, so it is easy to think we are healthy. I'm not sure what greater motivator I could have for daily exercising, but somehow diabetes is not enough of a threat for me.

There's a few relationships that could use some healing in my life. I'm not sure how to make that happen, so I ignore the splinter. Not so wise an approach.

Everyone has dreams that creep into consciousness at times and whispers, "Why aren't you coming after me?" I wonder sometimes if I am ignoring some Spirit-led direction in my life - because to answer the whisper would be scary or hard or confusing.

I'm trying to ignore all the TO-DOs that I see around me each day - the cluttered basement, the roses that need trimming, the cookies that should be baked...

*shiver* I'm feeling somewhat vulnerable at the moment, so I think I'll go do something else and ignore these feelings.

Question #1

My friend Jennifer, over at Creative Outlet Labs has introduced her readers to Canadian executive coach Michael Bungay Stanier and his 5 3/4 Questions You've Been Avoiding. I figure that if I work through one question per day, I'll be a whole new person by mid-afternoon on Saturday!

What's going well for you?

My marriage is probably my greatest team success story. Allan and I talk deeply, argue well, laugh often, and genuinely enjoy each other.

My kids are not out-of-control and I have not caused them any intentional physical harm (how's that for looking at the positive!). Although parenting is a tough process, my children are generally sweet kids who hug me a lot, make me laugh, and dance & wrestle with me with reckless abandon. They are healthy, active, and on target developmentally.

We are financially stable. We have a home and a car and can pay our bills on time (or close to it).

I have a wonderful extended family to whom I am immensely proud to be related. Everyone is healthy. No one is too much of embarrassment to handle.

My job is one for which I feel deep passion.

I am enjoying the age I am, the health I have, and the ways I am growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Although we do not connect as much as I would like, there are seasoned friendships in my life that bring me much peace.

We get to live in Portland - a place I deeply love (especially on a sunny fall day like today).

Personality Continued

Thanks for all of your input on the personality discussion! Have I mentioned how much fun this stuff is?

So one of the books sums the types up with a one phrase byline. I added the people whose types I know. They seem remarkably accurate for the most part, don't you think? *I'm adding updates as people tell me.

ESTP [for some reason I don't have the tagline for this one]

ESFP: You Only Go Around Life Once

ESTJ: Life's Administrators
Rebecca

ESFJ: Hosts & Hostesses of the World
Lori

ENFP: Giving Life an Extra Squeeze (i.e. lots of laughing and talking)
Big Steve, Allan, Randy, Kami, Kristi B.

ENFJ: Smooth-Talking Persuader (i.e. lots and lots of talking)
Luke, Erica, Sarah, Kenli

ENTJ: Life's Natural Leaders
Jason, Carol (J's mom), Ike (seriously - Ike & Jason have the same type? interesting...), Priscilla

ENTP: One Exciting Challenge After Another

INFP: Performing Noble Service to Aid Society
Andrew (you do-gooder, you!), Lindsey

INTP: A Love of Problem-Solving

INTJ: Everything Has Room For Improvement (a byline that is close to my heart)
Jessica G, Adam (intern), Jessica B

INFJ: An Inspiration to Others (insert Chicago song here)
Cheryl, Casey

ISTJ: Doing What Should Be Done ("Lord, tell Mary to come help with dinner!")
Aimee Jo, Kristi, Christa, Cheronn

ISTP: Willing to Try Anything

ISFJ: A High Sense of Duty
Emily, Leah

ISFP: Sees Much But Shares Little
Kaelea, Jeb

Now I'm trying to figure out what other people are. I think my brother Jeff (he & Kenli are the only ones I know who have scored 100% extroverted!) must be an ENTJ? Dad may be an INTJ and mom and INFJ? Kaelea would probably be an INFJ? Suzy is an ESFJ?

I know you want more of this, so stay tuned! Possibility for an argument to come (get ready INTJs & ENTJs!).

Personality Type

I entered the field of psychology many years ago primarily because I am fascinated with what makes a person be the person he or she is. Birth order, societal influences, traumas, successes, personality wiring - they all play a part in making us who we are.

This last week a few of us from PUMP took the summer interns out on our annual intern retreat. We spent time on a ropes course, playing games, and discussing our Myers-Briggs types. The Myers-Briggs is one of the most highly respected and amazingly accurate personality indicators. I always enjoy watching people discover and share about those unique aspects of their own personality. And as many times as the staff and I take it ourselves, our discussions always serve as excellent reminders about our areas of strength and those that stretch us into zones of discomfort.

Introvert-Extrovert
From where do you draw your energy?

Sensing - Intuition
How do you prefer to process information?

Thinking - Feeling
How do you prefer to make decisions?

Judgment - Perception
How do you prefer to organize your life?

You can take an online version here. I'd love it if you'd share what your type & percentages are. This site doesn't have the best descriptions of each type, but there are a ton online if you want more (or I'll share what I have with you!).

I'll talk about my own type soon...