Wednesday, October 29

A Note to My Father

Wow, Lord, this has been a doozy of a week so far, and it's only Wednesday morning. I have started a number of second sentences to this note to You, but the words of our language keep falling short of expressing what I want to say. So, I'll start with what I know. I know you are perfect. I know you are strong and majestic and full of mercy and grace. I know you love - you are love. There is no end to your care and love for us. Thank you. Thank you for knowing us. Thank you for drawing us near, even when we arch our backs & pull away like a toddler trying to get away from the protective arms of a parent or when we hide away and pretend that we are alone. I praise you today for your goodness, for your grace, for your patience. I praise you. All that I know to be true.

My heart literally hurts today, Lord. With each beat there is an accompanying ache. I notice my breathing today, almost like I need to remind myself to take in the vital air. As I do, I breathe in your Spirit. I fill my chest and my heart and my soul with your Spirit, whose very job description is to guide and bring peace. That is what I so need today. I need guidance. I need peace. Where should my steps take me? Show me. Move my feet for me. How should my hands minister? Guide me. Allow me to touch, to call, to love with you as my puppet master, reaching out as you see best. How should I implore to you? Use the Spirit to hear the cries of my heart and those of my dear friends who are hurting so profoundly today. Fill in the words that do not come.

There is a lot of confusion around us right now; there is so much we don't know. Once again, as I get caught up in just thinking about those questions, I have to remind myself to breathe. To breathe in your Spirit and your peace. You are the constant. You are the one that will never change. When all else is chaos, you are the peace. So I rest in your peace today and I hand over my pain. Through loss, heartache, and pain, your strength will be made evident. Be glorified, Lord. We love you and want to honor you today with our heartache.

Your humble daughter

5 comments:

Brian Pannell said...

may you find peace in knowing our Father has heard your cries and loves you

Sarah Megan said...

thank you for writing the words i too feel.

Josh Harrelson said...

That was a beautiful prayer. Katina and I have the pump church in our prayers

Lori Ann said...

I have added the Vandercamps to my prayers.

phyllis said...

Your prayer will touch many as it speaks to our heavy hearts as well.

Amen, and again I say, Amen.