A Note to My Father

Wow, Lord, this has been a doozy of a week so far, and it's only Wednesday morning. I have started a number of second sentences to this note to You, but the words of our language keep falling short of expressing what I want to say. So, I'll start with what I know. I know you are perfect. I know you are strong and majestic and full of mercy and grace. I know you love - you are love. There is no end to your care and love for us. Thank you. Thank you for knowing us. Thank you for drawing us near, even when we arch our backs & pull away like a toddler trying to get away from the protective arms of a parent or when we hide away and pretend that we are alone. I praise you today for your goodness, for your grace, for your patience. I praise you. All that I know to be true.

My heart literally hurts today, Lord. With each beat there is an accompanying ache. I notice my breathing today, almost like I need to remind myself to take in the vital air. As I do, I breathe in your Spirit. I fill my chest and my heart and my soul with your Spirit, whose very job description is to guide and bring peace. That is what I so need today. I need guidance. I need peace. Where should my steps take me? Show me. Move my feet for me. How should my hands minister? Guide me. Allow me to touch, to call, to love with you as my puppet master, reaching out as you see best. How should I implore to you? Use the Spirit to hear the cries of my heart and those of my dear friends who are hurting so profoundly today. Fill in the words that do not come.

There is a lot of confusion around us right now; there is so much we don't know. Once again, as I get caught up in just thinking about those questions, I have to remind myself to breathe. To breathe in your Spirit and your peace. You are the constant. You are the one that will never change. When all else is chaos, you are the peace. So I rest in your peace today and I hand over my pain. Through loss, heartache, and pain, your strength will be made evident. Be glorified, Lord. We love you and want to honor you today with our heartache.

Your humble daughter

The Shack

I've been sitting on this post for a few days, waiting for the right words to use. Those perfect words never made an appearance, so I choose to just write it anyway. Here's the gist of my message: If you do not have it, go out or get on amazon today and get yourself a copy of The Shack. I am at a loss as to how to break this book down here; I think I need another read through before I can begin an attempt at dissection. Although a work of fiction, this book has the ability to radically enhance one's vision of the Trinity. As I read, I could not help but feel that the author was fully anointed by the Spirit. I just don't see how a human, without the words of the Lord, could use language in such a beautiful way to paint a picture of the dimension surrounding the Trinity. It reminded me of how This Present Darkness changed the way I considered spiritual warfare. As I now envision angels riding on my car or surrounding my house (Allan and I named our head guardian "Mordecai") because of Peretti's insights, I now find myself considering my relationships with Sarayu as an integral part (you'll have to read it to know what that means). Have I convinced you yet? You can see more about it here. Read it - I'd love to talk about it with you.

This is a Recording

Every year Allan and I get caught up in watching the Tour. This week I noticed something significant - the coaches who ride along in cars right behind the participants are constantly speaking their cyclist via an ear piece. We got to listen in for a bit as one coach spoke to his cyclist. It went something like this: You are strong! Be courageous! Take it easy on this hill and then take them. You can do it. Be courageous! It used to be in sports that it was just the participant and his or her own thoughts that either would propel or discourage. When I ran cross country, I would have benefited from constant positive reinforcement in my mind or, at least, in my ear. My thoughts went more like: This is ridiculous. You are not a runner. Why are you even doing this? You are not any good. How can I get out of this with some dignity? Or something like that. I needed an earpiece with someone replacing those thoughts with: You are strong. Be courageous!

I have often talked to friends and clients about the tape recorders we carry with us. Maybe it was a harsh parent with one of those statements that stuck. You aren't college material. Maybe like one of my friends, a teacher held up your artwork as an example of what not to do. You are not creative. Don't try. Maybe it was a build up of personal losses. You know, no one really likes you. Our tape recorders flip on at random moments it seems and can get stuck playing these messages over and over.

The cool thing is that we actually do have a coach who speaks into our ear. The Holy Spirit is in us, whispering the truth. You are redeemed. You are worthy. If we get in tune with the Spirit through prayer and Scripture, we will more easily hear these messages that are constantly being spoken to each of us. You are a child of the King! So, if you need to, change out your tape recording. This coach is one with whom you want to listen. You are strong. Be courageous!