Trinity's Birthday

Nine years ago today I gave birth to a nine pound, one ounce bundle of beauty. There were a few phrases that we could count on each person declaring when saw our sweet Trinity Rose: “Look at all of that dark hair!” “Oh, those long fingers will be perfect for playing piano/ rock climbing/ volleyball...” and most of all, “Those eyes!!” Trinity was born with huge dark saucers that were so full that there was no white even visible. She was absolutely stunning to behold. On every outing people would declare how much she looked like a china doll - perfectly smooth, porcelain skin, cute little button features, and those eyes.

Trinity had the personality to match her angelic looks - pleasant, content, sweet. I recall a friend commenting that he didn’t think he ever heard her cry in her first year. Of course that was far from the truth, but her cry, like the rest of her, was soft and sweet.


She was our gift from the Creator (i.e. the Trinity) who was bestowing his great grace on us after so much uncertainty if pregnancy would ever be an option. The moment that we discovered that we were pregnant with her will always remain the most joyful of my life.

Nine years later and my joy over Trinity continues. No longer quiet and reserved, she bubbles over with enthusiasm, energy, and humor. She is filled with a spirit of adventure, always looking for a tree to climb, a new trail to explore, a place to dance, and a mall to shop! Her mind is inquisitive; she loves nothing more than to ask her dad questions about space, geology, or science - usually at bedtime.


At nine, Trin is in that middle land between childhood and the teens years. Pop culture and style is becoming increasingly important to her; yet she still plays dress up with her sister, does what she can to pester her brother, and snuggles with her mom (may that never stop!). It is my prayer that Trinity will come to truly believe and embrace her position as a daughter of the King, that she will see herself as the beautiful, amazing person she is.

Happy birthday, Trinity Rose! I love you so much!

What memories do you have of Trinity's first nine years?

Light the Night

My family will be participating in the Light the Night Walk with our friend, Caiti and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. My kids decided that they would each like to raise $100 to help kids like Caiti who work so hard to fight this disease. Help my kids reach their goal by clicking on their names on the team page. Or, even better, come walk with us on October 9th in Portland!

A Letter from Jimmy Carter

This is a letter written by Jimmy Carter, former President of the United States, on July 15, 2009, explaining his reasons for formally separating ties with the Southern Baptist Convention.

_____

Losing my religion for equality

Women and girls have been discriminated against for too long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.

I HAVE been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when the convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient" to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service.

This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries.

At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.

The impact of these religious beliefs touches every aspect of our lives. They help explain why in many countries boys are educated before girls; why girls are told when and whom they must marry; and why many face enormous and unacceptable risks in pregnancy and childbirth because their basic health needs are not met.

In some Islamic nations, women are restricted in their movements, punished for permitting the exposure of an arm or ankle, deprived of education, prohibited from driving a car or competing with men for a job. If a woman is raped, she is often most severely punished as the guilty party in the crime.

The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the West. The root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all of us. The evidence shows that investing in women and girls delivers major benefits for society. An educated woman has healthier children. She is more likely to send them to school. She earns more and invests what she earns in her family.

It is simply self-defeating for any community to discriminate against half its population. We need to challenge these self-serving and outdated attitudes and practices - as we are seeing in Iran where women are at the forefront of the battle for democracy and freedom.

I understand, however, why many political leaders can be reluctant about stepping into this minefield. Religion, and tradition, are powerful and sensitive areas to challenge. But my fellow Elders and I, who come from many faiths and backgrounds, no longer need to worry about winning votes or avoiding controversy - and we are deeply committed to challenging injustice wherever we see it.

The Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by former South African president Nelson Mandela, who offer their influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity. We have decided to draw particular attention to the responsibility of religious and traditional leaders in ensuring equality and human rights and have recently published a statement that declares: "The justification of discrimination against women and girls on grounds of religion or tradition, as if it were prescribed by a Higher Authority, is unacceptable."

We are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful teachings and practices, no matter how ingrained, which justify discrimination against women. We ask, in particular, that leaders of all religions have the courage to acknowledge and emphasise the positive messages of dignity and equality that all the world's major faiths share.

The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify the superiority of men owe more to time and place - and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence - than eternal truths. Similar biblical excerpts could be found to support the approval of slavery and the timid acquiescence to oppressive rulers.

I am also familiar with vivid descriptions in the same Scriptures in which women are revered as pre-eminent leaders. During the years of the early Christian church women served as deacons, priests, bishops, apostles, teachers and prophets. It wasn't until the fourth century that dominant Christian leaders, all men, twisted and distorted Holy Scriptures to perpetuate their ascendant positions within the religious hierarchy.

The truth is that male religious leaders have had - and still have - an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions - all of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views.

Jimmy Carter was president of the United States from 1977 to 1981.

Original Article Here

Luis Palau Article

Willamette Week, a rather "liberal" paper in Portland, published an article (here) on the Luis Palau ministries. LP is where Allan works as the multimedia producer. The article is already stirring up a lot of controversial discussion in the comments. I was impressed, though, with its message, and more importantly, with the level of integrity and heart revealed by the Palau team. Congrats guys!

Launching Counseling Site

I am excited to let everyone know about the new venture that my family is undertaking! This spring we have kicked off Kristi Cash White Counseling, my private practice that is focused on the mental health of children and families. I have a great office in North Portland, just about five minutes from my house.

Please check out our new website: Kristi Cash White Counseling and subscribe to the blog on that site for fun and informative posts on counseling, parenting, kids issues, and mental health.

See you at the other site!

How Not to Dispose of a Whale

At the Oregon coast right now there is a sad little whale who was washed up on shore and found his final resting place. As always, there is some discussion as to the best way to move such a large and smelly carcass. That same discussion back in 1970 led to a rather hilarious, albeit messy, result.

Kid Interview

Over on Facebook, there is a trend to put up all sorts of notes - "25 Random Facts About Me", "High School Memories", etc. This one I thought was especially fun, so I thought I'd put it here for the two of you who are not on Facebook (and should be). I interviewed Trinity & Connor about their most beloved mom.

ages:
Trinity - 8
Connor - 6

1. What is something mom always says to you?
T - "Get your coats, bags, & lunch boxes out of the car!"
C - "Go pick up your room."

2. What makes mom happy?
T - when kids make stuff for you
C - Valentine's Day cards from your kids

3. What makes mom sad?
T - when Fiona has a poopy diaper (uncontrollable laughter)
C - disobeying you or punching you in the face or kicking you [note from the mom: my kids have not ever actually punched me in the face]

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
T - she tickles me
C - tickles

5. What was your mom like as a child?
T - always got Jeff in trouble
C - the best kid in her family!

6. How old is your mom?
T - 36
C - 36

7. How tall is your mom?
T - As tall as that lamp, no...about as tall as the t.v. At least five feet?
C - Ten feet.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
T - doing crosswords with Grammy (Connor's response to that: How is that one of her favorite things to do? She HAS to do that. Grammy doesn't know all the answers.)
C - spending time with her kids

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
T - watching Dora with Fiona
C - spend time with Fiona; I have no idea, cause I'm not there!

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
T - a supermodel
C - being rich
[mom note: I love my kids!]

11. What is your mom really good at?
T - cooking, typing on the computer, and crosswords
C - playing with her kids

12. What is your mom not very good at?
T - I don't know! Driving - I'm just kidding; you're not good at talking to people - I'm just kidding
C - beating me

13. What does your mom do for a job?
T - play therapy
C - a long time ago she worked for the church

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
T - chocolate
C - pizza

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
T - when you help us clean our room and your room
C - when you lift something heavy

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
T - a monster - I'm just kidding! a mom with big eyes
C - Spongebob

17. What do you and your mom do together?
T - paint pottery, go to the movie theater
C - go to the donut shop (but we've only done that once)

18. How are you and your mom the same?
T - we're both girls
C - we both have sixes in our age

19. How are you and your mom different?
T - we look different; your hair is darker, you have brown eyes, ears pierced, a scratch on your forehead, and freckles and you're much, much bigger than me
C - I paint and draw more than you

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
T - I came out of your stomach, what do you think?
C - that's what I was going to say!

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
T - he's a Christian
C - that he's an artist

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
T - Grammy's house
C - Uncle Jeff's house

Catalyst & Culture

Earlier this week our family hosted L.V., a great guy from Catalyst, an organization which focuses on developing the next generation of church leaders. L.V. has been traveling around the country, spreading the Catalyst vision (and for those of you vanagon lovers, you must check out his sweet ride!) These are some observations he has developed about Portland, based on his time with many of our city's great church leaders, including Rick McKinley of Imago Dei.

* Individualistic Spirituality - the people that settled in Oregon made it to the END of the Oregon Trail - they traveled the furthest, beat the odds, and did it themselves. They settled as far away from the east coast as possible. The real spirituality of the great northwest is found in it's beauty - nature, wilderness, all that is before the eyes. "I don't have to conform to what everyone else is doing...I don't WANT to conform."

* "There's no verse for this one..." - no formulas or standard answers for people here. Some crazy stories and questions from people that would shock the "southern baptist culture."

* Time Tested - not interested in the fad or pop culture of church. If it doesn't stand the test of time and lead to real spiritual transformation then it's rejected. Must be real, and real is identified by long term impact. Are you willing to to share your life along with your message?

* Patient - a culture that is not anxious or reactive to getting caught up in "what's next."

* Church planters beware - your "model" created in a strategy room will NOT work here. Success is organic and often looks very different than what is initially planned.

* Rick, is the northwest a spiritually dark place? "Well, I don't know what 'dark' is. I mean, if you think about silicone enhancements, fake tans, fancy cars, and empty commitments to discipleship, well, then, that's dark to me. These people know where they are and that they don't like church or Jesus. The greatest hindrance to the church is the unconverted converted."

What do you think? Are his observations on track for Portland?

---

Update: Here is the rest of LV's article highlighting his Portland visit.

Year In Review

A rather forthright friend just spent a chunk of time reading through all of my 2008 blog posts. He suggested I change the name or at least add a subtitle because it is “neither about music nor about your life!” Hmph. That had me glancing through this year’s prose, being reminded of what a full scene this act of the musical was.

When 2008 began, I was nursing my baby-child and completely and utterly sleep-deprived. It was not a pretty picture. By early spring the sleep deprivation began to manifest itself in (greater) forgetfulness and disorganization; I’m afraid this hasn’t gotten any better. Wallet - lost, replaced, currently lost. Keys - lost, found, currently lost. Wedding Ring - lost, replaced, found original, both currently lost. Depressing, I tell you.

Late spring brought two events that are highlights in my year. First, a trip to New York for the Women in Ministry conference and some fabulous sight-seeing. Second, a trip to the Pepperdine lectures with my mom. I love, love traveling and these fun exertions gave me a much needed boost.

Summer brought activity and energy and excitement! All of my family together for the first time in years...PUMP Summer Program with its amazing kids, loving youth groups, and fantastic interns...a car accident...a beach trip with my three dear childhood friends...the Olympics!...FaithQuest...The Luis Palau Festival at Portland’s waterfront...a beach get-away with the family...good times.

Early fall seemed to be all about politics and back to school and picture taking (our favorite photo time of the year). I also had the great opportunity to take a month sabbatical, where I spent time reflecting, rejuvenating, and talking with my family and my God. But late fall had very difficult parts to it...Cascade College announcing its impending closure...three little girls I know having terrible, frightening diseases...a baby having surgery on his skull...financial troubles for friends...unexpected death. It has been a season of prayer and reflection.

A monumental personal event of the year, though, happens today for me - this last day of 2008. As of midnight, I will no longer be employed by the PUMP Church of Christ, but will now minister again as a volunteer. This is the church that the Lord led us to plant with six amazing people at the beginning of this decade. I’ve been on staff for seven-and-a-half years, wearing more hats than I could describe.
I absolutely love this ministry. I love my friends in this church family and those in the community who do not yet know about the hope found in Christ. I love the amazing work that PUMP has done for so many hundreds of children, adults, and families, and I love the dream of who PUMP can still be under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

What’s to come in 2009? I can’t imagine. But, with my family, friends, and Lord with me, I am content in heart as I watch the clock strike midnight to see what happens next.

Heard Around the House

Fiona sucking on toes...
Mom: What's that toe taste like, Fiona?
Fiona: peanut butter & jelly

-----

Kristi: I think Jesus is coming tomorrow.
Trinity: How do you know?
Kristi: I don't actually know. I'm just hoping.
Trinity: Awww - but tomorrow is show-and-tell!

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In the midst of a frustrating conversation with a child who was speaking disrespectfully...
Allan: Do you know why you need to talk nice to your mom??
Connor: Yeah, she gave birth to me!

Merry Christmas to All

Like many of you, this time of year is a paradox for me. I love this season - the lights, the tree hunting, the baking...and the gifts. I really enjoy picking out something for each person on my list that I know will be a joyous surprise. All the while, I hear my kids have conversations, like the one they had yesterday in the car, that go something like: "I love Christmas - it's my favorite holiday." "Mine, too. But maybe I like my birthday more because I get presents AND cake." *sigh* Doesn't that just warm your heart?

We've all heard it this year. America spends multiple gazillion dollars on Christmas; in contrast, the world could be fully vaccinated with a small portion of that sum. Although Americans plan to spend less on the holidays this year than in the past several years, it's not just about holding back a few additional dollars; it's about making the world a little better place for others as well. It's about generosity and humility and a little perspective.

After that conversation start yesterday, the kids and I decided to put together a list of ways we can help others enjoy their holiday season and choose as a family which ones we will join with this year. I'm starting our list, but I would love to have input. What are other organizations or ideas for giving that you think are great?

• Sponsor a child through Compassion International, Samaritan's Purse, or another reputable child sponsor organization.
• Buy a malaria resistant mosquito net for an African family (this is what we gave our dads for Father's Day - to help a few children who may not have fathers).
• Provide a micro loan in order for someone in a developing country to begin a business that will support their family.
• Buy a goat, chicken, alpaca, pig, or some other cute animal that will help support a family.
• Take food to our local food bank.
• Choose a family we know personally and sneakily drop off gifts & food (I read of one family who blesses a family every year with an anonymous twelve days of Christmas countdown of decorations, food, and small gifts).
• Give needed clothes or toys to a foster child.
• Make homemade Christmas decorations for elderly people in a near-by retirement home.
  

What else?

Wishing a fabulous holiday season for ALL of us.

What I Needed to Hear Today

Stay in the boat. You don’t have to walk on water. He can. And he’s coming to you.
-Mike Cope

Advent Conspiracy

Prayer Request

We have two sweet kids (& two sets of families) at PUMP who need your prayers. Caitlin, a four-year-old sweetie, was diagnosed with leukemia two weeks ago. We praise God that she is responding well to treatment so far; we know this is a long road ahead though. Today she is at the hospital getting another round of tests and chemo.

Zion, PUMP's newest little one, is a six-month old who is having a traumatic surgery on his skull as I write this. After his three hour surgery, he'll be in ICU for 24 hours and in the hospital for another four days - if all goes according to plan. I'm hopeful that he will surprise all with his rapid and complete recovery.

Please join the PUMP family in prayer for these two precious families. Although trusting in the Lord's care and love, the anxiety and heartache is understandably overwhelming at times for them.

From Psalm 71:
I have come to you for protection;
don’t let me be disgraced.
Save me and rescue me,
for you do what is right.
Turn your ear to listen to me,
and set me free.
Be my rock of safety
where I can always hide.
Give the order to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
O Lord, you alone are my hope.
I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
My life is an example to many,
because you have been my strength and protection.
That is why I can never stop praising you;
I declare your glory all day long.

Walking With Others Through Storms

There have been joys this week in my 2nd grader's grand performance as an evil stepsister in their class version of Cinderella, dressing up with the kids for Halloween, and using our fireplace for the first time this fall. This is a period, though, marked with great loss and sadness. Heartache has come in many forms for my friends and family this week:

Family having to unexpectedly move from their home.

A friend leaving her ministry & dream because of the sin of another.

The baby of friends having to endure medical procedures in anticipation of an upcoming traumatic surgery.

An entire region losing an institution that serves as a cornerstone; friends losing their home, college & stability; friends anticipating being unemployed.

A sweet, adorable little friend beginning the fight with a terrible disease.

A friend losing her sister in an unexpected death.

It is often hard to know how to minister to people who are experiencing grief and loss, especially when their hurt cuts deeply into your own heart. With good intentions, people often say hurtful things. Or out of fear of saying something wrong, some say nothing at all. Here are some ideas for ministry to those whose who are hurting.

DO:

• acknowledge the pain or loss with a card, call, or letter (which can be re-read during hard times).
• make specific offers for assistance (e.g. picking up groceries while you're at the store, helping write a resume, or taking the kids for an evening).
• be supportive of the difficult decisions they are making.
• pray. Telling someone that you are praying for them is another way of saying you care.
• tell them that they are doing a good job managing their situation.
• feel free to cry with the person.
• simply say "I am so sorry."
• allow them to talk about their situation at their own pace. Be a good listener.
• simply sit with the person or offer some other action of support like a hug or squeeze of the arm. Words are not always necessary.
• remember painful holidays.
• remember that the pain will likely be long-lasting and nothing you say will make the pain go away.

DON'T:

• avoid the person because you don't know what to say.
• say "I know how you feel". This time is about the other person, not about you.
• tell depressing stories, even if they relate to the loss.
• say "It's God's will" or "It's a good thing" or "You can [have another child, go on to another ministry, go to a different college]".
  
• say "Don't cry" or "Be brave" or "You are so strong", which may cause the person to repress their feelings. They likely do not feel strong or brave.
  
• blame or say things that might be construed as blame.
• use platitudes or cliches, such as "Time heals all wounds" or "Everything will be o.k." It most definitely does not feel like things will be o.k. They need to be given the permission and space to grieve.
  

Let's all take a deep breath, praise the Lord for today, and walk hand in hand through these difficult times.

[some of these ideas come from Delores Kuenning's "Helping People Through Grief"]

A Note to My Father

Wow, Lord, this has been a doozy of a week so far, and it's only Wednesday morning. I have started a number of second sentences to this note to You, but the words of our language keep falling short of expressing what I want to say. So, I'll start with what I know. I know you are perfect. I know you are strong and majestic and full of mercy and grace. I know you love - you are love. There is no end to your care and love for us. Thank you. Thank you for knowing us. Thank you for drawing us near, even when we arch our backs & pull away like a toddler trying to get away from the protective arms of a parent or when we hide away and pretend that we are alone. I praise you today for your goodness, for your grace, for your patience. I praise you. All that I know to be true.

My heart literally hurts today, Lord. With each beat there is an accompanying ache. I notice my breathing today, almost like I need to remind myself to take in the vital air. As I do, I breathe in your Spirit. I fill my chest and my heart and my soul with your Spirit, whose very job description is to guide and bring peace. That is what I so need today. I need guidance. I need peace. Where should my steps take me? Show me. Move my feet for me. How should my hands minister? Guide me. Allow me to touch, to call, to love with you as my puppet master, reaching out as you see best. How should I implore to you? Use the Spirit to hear the cries of my heart and those of my dear friends who are hurting so profoundly today. Fill in the words that do not come.

There is a lot of confusion around us right now; there is so much we don't know. Once again, as I get caught up in just thinking about those questions, I have to remind myself to breathe. To breathe in your Spirit and your peace. You are the constant. You are the one that will never change. When all else is chaos, you are the peace. So I rest in your peace today and I hand over my pain. Through loss, heartache, and pain, your strength will be made evident. Be glorified, Lord. We love you and want to honor you today with our heartache.

Your humble daughter

You Want To Put That Where Exactly?

Just in time for my health post, I went in for some of those necessary physical check-ins. It is national breast cancer awareness month, so with my doctor's orders I had my first...[ahem]...mammogram. I do not see myself as being old enough to have mammograms, but hey, better that than the alternative. Girlfriends, it wasn't something I would choose to do for weekend fun, but it is definitely tolerable. I just had no idea that things could be...maneuvered in such ways.

Good news - my mammogram, thyroid, and blood sugar tests were all good - the latter two being areas for which I am at high risk for problems. My one problem are? Cholesterol. Ugh. Looks like I have one more good reason to get those tennis shoes laced up.

And One, Two, Three!

I have several friends right now who are trying to take better control of their bodies through diets. There are some pretty creative ideas out there on how to lose weight. How about the Alternate Day Diet, where you basically alternate between starving and indulging. Just thinking about the Cabbage Soup Diet makes me nauseated. There's all those single food diets, where you pack your gills with one food, like watermelon or grapefruit. There's a million choices: Adkins, Weight Watchers, low-carb, low-calorie, pills, powders...it is a dizzying array.

Here comes confession time. I have gained 20 pounds in the last few months. *cheeks blushing, head shaking side to side* Excuses aside, my health needs to be kicked in gear once again. Here's some interesting things I found on Psychology Today:

The government has long espoused moderate daily exercise—of the evening-walk or take-the-stairs variety—but that may not do much to budge the needle on the scale. A 150-pound person burns only 150 calories on a half-hour walk, the equivalent of two apples. It's good for the heart, less so for the gut.

I don't like where this is headed.

"Radical changes are necessary," says Deirdre Barrett, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of Waistland. "People don't lose weight by choosing the small fries or taking a little walk every other day." Barrett suggests taking a cue from the members of the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR), a group of more than 5,000 successful weight-losers who have shed an average of 66 pounds and kept it off 5.5 years. They had one thing in common: vigorous exercise for at least an hour most days of the week. She estimates they burn an extra 2,800 calories a week.

Did you catch that? Vigorous exercise for at least an hour most days of the week. I didn't think this was going in the direction I was hoping, which involved more Heroes watching and blog writing. Well, alrighty then. I want to be motivated. I want to be healthy. I want that for my friends as well. So let's get to it, shall we?

Fall Family

See More Photos HERE

Testimony

If someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it.
I Peter 3:15

Our Wednesday evening gathering at PUMP is focused on exercises designed to help us better "discover our faith", while letting I Peter 3 equip us for sharing our faith more effectively. I'm glad we are having a dialogue about this subject, because it surely does not come naturally to most of us; we often don't know the words for our story. But all Christians have a story about receiving the treasured gift of hope; we all have an amazing story of redemption to share. We all have a before and after.

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