To a little girl on her third birthday...

Three years old - how exciting! I wonder what kind of party you asked for this year. Was it Dora or Blues Clues? Or maybe with the influence of your older sister you are already into princesses or Barbie. I bet it will be fun, no matter what character adorns your cake!

Time is funny - I can't decide if it seems like it has been just a day or two since we lost you or if it has been forever. I guess it has been half of your lifetime since we were your family. You are probably such a funny kid now - full of energy and strong in will.

We think of you all of the time. I recently confessed to some family that I look for you every time I'm in a mall, seeing all of those families walking and talking together. Allan said he does the same thing at the park. I don't know what I'd do if I did actually see you again. Would I introduce myself to your family? Would I watch you for a little while from a distance - just to see you laugh and hear you talk? Would it break my heart or would I feel comfort in seeing that you were well cared for and happy?

You know that's what we've always prayed for - that you would be part of a family where you would know boundless love. And more importantly, we pray you are in a place where you can get to know Jesus. I'm sure our first prayer has been answered beyond measure already. I don't know if the second one has been answered...yet. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord is going to surround you with opportunities to meet and fall in love with Jesus in your lifetime. Although it will be your choice, I believe that He will make it hard for you not to love Him, if for no other reason than to allow us to be with you in heaven. I look forward to that day.

So, my dear girl, enjoy this very special third birthday! As we silently acknowledge this day of celebration for you, we thank God for the amazing, special gift you were to us.

A is for Apple

Today I read about an author who commits to reading 100 books each year! After several years of nothing longer than Goodnight Moon, Real Simple magazine and friends' blogs, I have been trying to read more grown-up books this year, so I thought I'd go back and count them up. I'm afraid I am not quite on pace. I have blogged nine book reviews since January and am about four posts behind. That puts me at about one book every 10.61 days; while the pace setter reads a new one every 3.65 days. Well, he does get paid to read and write, right?? Actually, I'm pretty pleased with my increased consumption this year. Glad I got four new books for my birthday last week! Got to get crackin' (see my other blog for updates).

The Core

Tonight as I was flipping around during the commercials, I came across a scene from a movie where a man, wearing a suit that is designed to withstand 5,000º, had to enter the core of the earth where it was a balmy 10,000º. Needless to say, he, along with his lovely, shiny, metalic suit, melted to smithereens. That was me today.

Lost

Lost is just such a cool show. Last week's episodes was jaw-dropping, one of those NO WAY!! endings that leave you salivating for the next week to quickly pass. And for us poor saps who have yet to get Tivo, we can now watch missed ones right on ABC's website (which is faster than waiting for a dear husband to get it online, as well). Is it Wednesday yet??

Ode to Maturity

I am growing up. I really am. Lately, on two separate occasions, I have chosen friendship over old rivalry and had Lakers play-off games aired in my home. Not only did I welcome my friends to watch the games here, but I did not once make any, not even one, disparaging remark against the team that has caused more ire to stir within me than any other since the Pistons and that Bill Laimbeer punk (whom I still might bite in the kneecap - since that's all I could reach - if he came within view). Back to how I've matured, though...I have actually enjoyed watching these games and felt very little negative reaction to the purple and yellow, oops - I mean gold, uniforms. So, tonight, after a crushing game seven, I offer my deepest empathies to my friends, Billy and Hershell. I know how it feels, man.

An Adventure in the City

My kids and I like to go on "adventures" now and then. We'll walk down to the bus stop and hop on Tri-met's number 8 that takes us down to the Convention Center MAX stop. Sometimes we'll head out towards Grammy's in Gresham or head the other direction to meet Allan near his work. It is always truly an adventure to take pre-schoolers on public transport, but I like exposing them to our city and the cool cultures all around us that often converge in one vehicle.

Yesterday's adventure definitely exposed us to some of our city's..."culture". A lady, let's call her "Shelly", got on a few stops after we did. She had the look of a hard life - aged and abused beyond her years. She sat across from us next to a guy, we'll call "Greg", an almost blind guy with a guide dog, whom Shelly obviously knew, but hadn't seen, for some time. The loud conversation between them went to how she recently had some tooth problems. Within minutes they were making a deal for Greg to buy Vicodin, presumably given for tooth pain, from Shelly. They make their arrangements (apparently about $1.50 per pill), and she goes to sit farther back in the bus with her fiancee. They continue their loud conversation down the length of the bus about Shelly's previous boyfriend who, at last meeting, nearly beat her to death. Greg then picks up a conversation with "Jack", a hippie-type playing his guitar (very well, I might add), sitting next to him. Jack shows Greg the pills he bought earlier in the day from a different vendor, so Greg, who obviously has studied pharmaceuticals extensively, informs Jack of the details regarding Jack's latest purchase (Greg declares himself a "light weight" and prefers Vicodin, but he's sure Jack will do well with his heavier ones).

I was really struck by this encounter. At first I was just amazed at the blatant nature of their behavior. They were dealing and comparing their prescription drugs three feet in front of me and my little children and within earshot of the entire bus, including the bus driver. Then I was struck by the reality. This is life for these dear people. It's all about numbing the pain of whatever life circumstances have gotten them on that bus on that day.

I walked away from our adventure with one repeating thought: They don't know. I just keep coming back to that thought throughout the rest of the day: They don't know. So many people we see in this city don't the Truth. The revealing, liberating, passionate, loving Truth, who is Jesus Christ. I don't know what to do with that tonight, but to pray for them - and for me - to know and believe and live the Truth.